What Comes First?
by Rabbi Adam Chalom (rabbichalom@KolHadash.com)

All over the Jewish world, one can hear rabbis kvetching (complaining) about the Jews who aren’t there: they never come to adult education, they never attend Shabbat services, they don’t even go to High Holiday services. To whom are these rabbis complaining? To the Jews who are there, who have attended the adult ed or Shabbat service or High Holiday celebration where they hear this harangue. We might call it “kvetching to the choir.”

Too much of the Jewish world hasn’t gotten past the guilt style of promotion: come here or feel bad. We need to recognize that we are one of many options, competing with movies, theater, television, family time, and just sitting on the couch doing nothing and staying warm. The Hebrew bima, or the elevated synagogue platform from which the service is led, is from the same root as bama, or theater stage. If a theater puts on a show and no one comes after the first week, they can blame the promotions department. All too often the real culprit is the quality of their product—if the show is worth seeing, word gets around and people come. I’ve never heard that Steppenwolf Theatre attract patrons with the implicit message, “Come see Hamlet at least once or your grandmother would be disappointed in you.”

There are times when our Jewish identity becomes more important: the High Holidays, Passover, perhaps a yahrtzeit (memorial anniversary). And there are occasions when personal life takes precedence; one Kol Hadashian actually apologized to me for missing an adult education class because of his wedding anniversary! But most of the time, it’s a personal choice: when to explore your Jewishness, and when to enjoy and entertain your humanity.

My task is to encourage you to find both with us. And if the topics are not interesting enough, or the programs are not engaging enough, or the experience is not uplifting enough to encourage you to come, and then to come back, and then to come with friends, then it’s wrong to blame the audience. Is every program, particularly in the depths of a Chicago winter, going to be as packed and energized as the High Holidays? Of course not. But everyone who comes is appreciated for coming, every time they come; and no complaining allowed.

I guess my only complaint is hearing this: “Every time I come, which isn’t often, I enjoy it.” If you feel part of our community, and we provide an experience you enjoy, then come back for more! The more you know about who you are and why, and who we are and why, the more satisfying your Jewish and human life can be. You can’t get too much of this good thing, but the choice is up to you.