High Holiday Sermons

Relationship Status: It's Complicated

Humanistic Jews deal with complicated relationships. We are individualists who connect with groups. We are freethinkers with shared beliefs. We live today with roots stretching back over two millennia. And we are part of a Jewish family that cannot agree on who belongs. If we value our relationships, we learn to live with and even love their complications.

Tradition provides roots, and tradition oppresses us with values and lifestyles of the past. Rather than expecting our ancestors to endorse our choices, accepting the gap between their era and ours lets us claim true continuity when we agree. A mature relationship with tradition may also help us with our personal past of parents, grandparents and family heritage.

It feels good to be affirmed, and it can be challenging to declare an unpopular conclusion. If we seek truth, we must look beyond confirming what we already believe and be willing to change our minds. Can we find those who share our values without creating a self-congratulatory bubble? The best friends sometimes say, “no.” Or maybe, “yes, and.”

Parenting is hard, but so is being a child. Together we’ll explore what children can do to find their own power and voice while still loving and listening to their families.

Israel is home to almost half of the world’s Jews. Its Jewish population also tends to be more religious, politically conservative, and nationalist than global Jewry. We disagree on synagogue and state, the occupied territories, and the proper balance of “Jewish state” and “democracy.” If we do not share beliefs and values, is historical culture enough to keep us together?

No one else feels what we feel, thinks like us, or needs what we need. We experience other people through our own filters and fears. Every relationship is a narrow bridge between worlds. If we risk openness, we may suffer pain. But without risk, there is little reward.

Being a child is hard, but so is parenting. Together we’ll explore what parents can do to develop their own power and voice while still loving and listening to their families.

William Faulkner wrote, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” We know we cannot change what already happened, or our relationships with loved ones who are gone. Yet we keep asking ourselves, “what if” and “if only.” Can we find healing and peace for even these complicated connections?